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                    Middletown Senior Center

                          WEIRD CALIFORNIA                  LAWS


                      1. Women are not allowed to drive a motor vehicle while wearing a housecoat.


                      2. It is illegal to hunt any game while in a moving vehicle except whaling.  However, whaling is also illegal.


                      3. No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles an hour.  But what’s this mean for self-driving cars?


                      4. In Eureka, men with mustaches cannot kiss a woman.


                      5. In San Francisco, it is illegal to have a pet bear, gorilla, crocodile, or any other wild animal.  


                      6. Luckily this law was thrown out in 2012, but before then, no frisbees or footballs were allowed to be used in Los Angeles Beaches without lifeguard permission.


                      7. Carmel is home to some of the strangest laws, including this old one, that made it illegal to stand on the sidewalk with ice cream.  


                      8. Also, in Carmel, women are required to have a permit to wear heels more than 2 inches in height.  This law was authored to defend the city from lawsuits happening on the irregular pavement.


                      9. Thinking about washing your neighbor’s car?  In Los Angeles, it is illegal to do so without their permission.


                      10. In San Francisco and Long Beach, it is illegal to store anything other than automobiles in a garage.

                       

                      11. Detonating a nuclear device in city limits results in a $500 fine.


                      12. No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash.  (Belvedere, CA)


                      NO MORE SMALL THINGS by rmk

                       

                      The small things ceased to exist sometime ago, and I am only now realizing it.

                       

                      Everything has become major.  I recently renewed my driver’s license.  Now that has always been a major event.  Getting the book, reading the book, remembering the book, remembering where one should stop for the trolley—what trolley?  We don’t have a trolley.  I don’t drive where they have a trolley.  This version of the test should only be given in highly populated, multi-transportation areas.

                       

                      I did all of the above except when I called for a book, none were available until January 2023.  Huh?  But my due date is in November.  Checked the internet for changes to the 2020 book (copy of which I have).  They were not available.  And then the good news.  I wasn’t required to take the test after all.  Postponed again, even if older then 75. This process could have been one of the small things. 

                       

                      The “normal” small things used to be showering, dressing, fixing breakfast, taking a pill, brushing teeth.  Well, things do change and how they change is staggering.   When showering, it can be scary.  No more bending over to wash the feet, bending backward under the shower to rinse the hair, or suspending in space to use the lotion.  The best investment we made is the handy, dandy steel bars we had installed in the shower. 

                       

                      And then there is dressing.  I count the times it takes me to get a foot into one leg of my trousers.  I start out not holding on.  As if that will still work.  Then I hold on.  That is always a feat.  First the sink’s counter, then some wall space.  A quick step here and a quick step there (staggering) and “walla”, one foot down.  Next!  Of course by this time I am totally out of breath.  Also about this time, I ask myself, “Why am I not still in bed?”  But oh no!  It’s “watch out world, here I come”.  It just takes longer and longer, and longer, and...

                          DUMB JOKES - LOL


                      1. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?  Same middle name.


                      2. I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn’t actually mine.  Apparently I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.


                      3. What is the opposite of a croissant?  A happy uncle.


                      4. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?  Pilgrims.


                      5. Which branch of the military accepts toddlers?  The infantry.


                      6. Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins?  You must have to listen varicosely.


                      7. Though I enjoy the sport, I could never date a tennis player.  Love means nothing to them.


                      8. I was kidnapped by mimes once.  They did unspeakable things to me.


                      9. I finally decided to sell my vacuum cleaner.  All it was doing was gathering dust.


                      10. When you die, what part of the body dies last?  The pupils...they dilate.


                      11. A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb.  He just can’t part with it. 

                      Open: Monday - Friday

                      8 am to 3 pm

                      Doors Open: 9 am to 2 pm


                          Closed: Weekends and Holidays


                      Phone: 1-707-987-3113

                      Fax: 1-707-987-3114


                      Mail: Post Office Box 1037

                      Address: 21256 Washington Street,

                      Middletown, California 95461

                      Email: msrc01@att.net

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                      • External link opens in new tab or windowmsrc01@att.net
                      • External link opens in new tab or window21256 Washington Street, Middletown, CA
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