Middletown Senior Center

21256 Washington Street
Post Office Box 1037

Middletown, California 95461

Phone: (707) 987-3113

Fax: (707) 987-3114

msrc01@att.net


A Few Laughs

 

Perks of reaching 60 or being over 70 & heading towards 80!


1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run—anywhere.

4. People call at 8pm and ask, “Did I wake you?”

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won’t wear out.

8. You can eat supper at 5pm.

9. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size. 



JUST FOR FUN

 

I don’t do drugs...I get the same effect by standing up fast!

 

“Old” is when you doctor doesn’t give you x-rays anymore, but just holds you up to the light.

 

“Old” is when a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door nearest your car.

 

“Old” is when you remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.  

 

“Old” is when your wife says “let’s go upstairs and make love,” and you answer, “Honey, I can’t do both!”



If you laugh a lot, 

When you get older your wrinkles will be in the right places

 



A group of senior citizens were exchanging notes about their ailments.  

“My arm is so weak I can hardly hold this coffee cup.”

“Yes, I know.  My cataracts are so bad I can’t see to pour the coffee.”

“I can’t turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck.”

“My blood pressure pills make me dizzy.  I guess that’s the price we pay for getting old.”

“Well, it’s not all bad.  We should be thankful that we can still drive!”

 

 


THE WONDER YEARS: 

 I wonder

Where are my keys? 

Where are my glasses? 

Who moved my coat? 

Where are my teeth floating?