Middletown Senior Center
21256 Washington Street
Post Office Box 1037
Middletown, California 95461
Phone: (707) 987-3113
Fax: (707) 987-3114
The Doctor Is In
A lady came in for a routine physical at the
doctor’s office. “Here”, said the nurse, handing her a urine specimen
container. “The bathroom is over there on your right. The doctor
will be with you in a few minutes.” A few minutes later the lady came out
of the bathroom with an empty container and a relieved look on her face.
“Thanks! But they had a toilet in there, so I didn’t need this after
How To Get The Police
To Your House
An elderly man from Georgia was going up to bed when
his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, which she
could see from the bedroom window. He opened the back door to go turn off
the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked, “Is someone in your
house?” He said, “No, but some people are breaking into my garden shed
and stealing from me.”
Then the police dispatcher said, “All patrols are
busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is
available.” The old guy said, “Okay.” He hung up the phone and
counted to 30.
Then he phoned the police again. “Hello, I
just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things
from my shed. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now because
I just shot them,” and he hung up.
Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a
helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the
residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to the old guy, “I thought
you said that you’d shot them!”
The wise old man said, “I thought you said there was
I can do that!
My Grandmother, a feisty 91 and living alone in
a small town in Oregon, had a total hip replacement and was house bound.
Our family, not being nearby, was concerned for her welfare and called Meals on
Wheels. We let the service know how Grandmother didn’t like the idea of
being dependent on anyone for anything. The next day a volunteer phoned
Grandmother and cheerfully explained that Meals on Wheels is a service which
relies on volunteers to help the elderly and the ill. Would she be interested
in it? There was a reflective pause. “Well, sure,” my Grandmother
said. “If you can’t find anyone else to get food to the old people, I
guess I can.”
You might be old if...
hurts, and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work anyway.
gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
feel like you really hung one on the night before, and you were in bed asleep
get winded playing chess.
children begin to look middle-aged.
join a health club and don’t go.
begin to outlive enthusiasm.
mind makes contracts your body can’t meet.
know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions.
look forward to a dull evening.
sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going.
knees buckle and your belt won’t.
17 around the neck and 42 around the waist.
stop looking forward to your next birthday.
long distance wears you out.